I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sarcasm needs its own font
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
