so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
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you didnt know i had herpes?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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