I hate your face
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
