Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
