David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
