checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
