I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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