alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
