you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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