ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
