But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
actually, I'm a sock model
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
