dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
