They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just had sex on a roof
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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