would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
