Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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(509): View more from Washington

He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

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(206): View more from Washington

Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction

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(540): View more from Virginia

About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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(561): View more from Florida

I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.

Fav 4 1259 490
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(201): View more from New Jersey

as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP

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