I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize