just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize