I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
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Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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