I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
