You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
