did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
