i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
