How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
