Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
