I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
