I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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