i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
