Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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