Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
