just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
