Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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