if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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