I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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