i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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