i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
