the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
