He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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