I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently you make a good broom.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
