On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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