I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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