i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Send help, water and tortillas.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
