And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize