tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
