there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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