We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize