Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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