You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
