Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
