He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
