She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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