happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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