Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I love you. Go after that dick
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize