she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
