fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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