I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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