he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
