How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize