i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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