Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
