Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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